Jaded Hearts (The Jaded Hearts Club) Read online

  The emotions that I had resolved to ignore were surfacing. We had been through so much together that Andrew knew how to get past my road blocks. I knew this was hard for him too. Evan had helped me raise him at a crucial time in his life. He was his only real male role model.

  “OK J. I can understand that. I just want you to be sure of everything that comes with a big break like this.” His tone was filled with discernment as he gave me a big bear hug.

  Sometimes I feel like his little sister!

  “Yeah, I'm prepared. Plus, you have to look at it this way. A single female in her twenties, in New York, making 90 G’s a year, and living in a tight ass loft. Jackie runs a trendy boutique so that means new clothes. How can I pass that up?”

  His eyebrows raised in thoughtful agreement.

  “OK, you got that one. I just hope you know it’s wrong to just up and leave your little brother like this. Shit! Does Vivian have a job lined up for my ass? I’ll do whatever she tells me to for 90 G's, `cause I’m all about the money!” We both laughed.

  By the time Andrew left I was more than tipsy. I got dressed to meet Colleen as I finished the rest of the frozen drink I had made earlier. We weren’t sure if we were going to hit a club after we had drinks, so I dressed for it just in case. I put on my new skinny jeans that fit my ass just right with a little black top from Bebe that showed off my cleavage with a plunging neckline.

  I admired my 5ft 9 frame in the mirror. Working out with Evan had me in decent shape. That was the only change I didn’t mind him suggesting. I was finally down 45 pounds to about 140 pounds with a flat stomach, firm 34C breasts, a curvy round butt and thick thighs. For the first time in my life I felt sexy. I let my hair grow out down past my shoulders and had it dyed black. Tonight I wore it with a deep side part so it framed my face. I lined my almond shaped hazel eyes with metallic gray liner and shadow, and my lips with my chestnut lip-liner from MAC and filled it in with my 'Ooh Baby' lip gloss. I felt like a million bucks.

  I decided to catch a cab to Collins and 5th and walk the rest of the way. I needed to walk off some of the alcohol I had consumed with my brother earlier, plus it gave me the chance to check out the South Beach scene. When I got to the bar I saw Colleen waiting for me with two drinks in front of her.

  “Damn girl! Rough day at the office?” I joked.

  “Hey Jay!” She yelled as she got up to greet me and we both hugged. I started to feel that tightness in my throat when she called me the nickname that was hers alone. I thought about how much I was going to miss her. She laughed at my joke as she sat back down.

  “I’d be a liar if I told you I didn’t have a rough ass day, but you know that drink is for you. I figured you’d get here around now. You’re right on time at 20 minutes late,” she retorted. I crossed my eyes at her and took my drink.

  “This fits right in with what I’ve been drinking all day. Andrew came by and we had pina coladas today. Thank you, its purrfect.”

  “Don’t thank me.” She said, “Thank the bartender. He made it. So, how are you feeling? You look great, but you can’t fool me Jade.”

  “Damn! Why you gotta pull out every name you have for me? So what, you think you know me, I don’t care!” I replied. She always saw past my b/s and went straight to the point.

  “That’s right I know you, and all of your aliases, so don’t trip. You haven’t really talked to me since you told me that your aunt offered you a job and you were moving to New York. You just hit me with all that info and no details. What’s up with you? Or, what’s up with Evan?” Colleen didn’t care about tact and beating around the bush. We had been friends too long for that. I looked into my drink for a while before I began to talk.

  “Well, every time I call you I get your voicemail it seems like. Is there something up with you?” Colleen gave me that look that said I was crazy and to mind my business at the same time. Even though she was my confidant, she was secretive about her own life.

  “Look, don't change the subject. Is Evan OK with this?” Her tone was serious.

  “I don’t know Lena. Things between us are okay right now. But for how long, right? It’s like ever since we graduated he has this whole thing about our image, or his image I should say. I just don’t feel the love anymore and I know that I need to be far away from him to get me straightened out. Please don’t think this is all about him. I would be a fool to pass up this offer. What have I got to lose?”

  I looked at her like I needed an answer to that question. She looked back at me.

  “Well, you might just be losing the love of your life, or you just might be doing the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. Maybe you guys aren’t meant to be. I guess you have to wait and see. Now back to this about this offer. Did you do your research? I mean I know she’s your aunt, but is this a reliable offer?” I sat back to digest her questions.

  “Why do you sound like Evan right now? Look I did my research and it’s a fairly new company put together by two previously well established partners. My aunt used to work with one of the partners at her old job and he brought her along. In the last year she has moved out of her brownstone in Brooklyn, and moved into a nice ass house in Englewood New Jersey. And she says business is booming. She already has a select list of clients for me to start off with, and I can build my base from there. My apartment is furnished with things that I picked out and ready for me to move into. I wouldn’t lie to you and tell you that I’m not scared, but this is something that I have to do.” I said.

  “Well, then you go ahead and do it. I just hope everything works out for you. So, now let’s finish these drinks and get the night popping. It’s your last Friday in Miami, and we have to show them what they’re going to be missing. A toast to Jade, I hope you find everything you’re looking for in New York and more.” She raised her glass and I raised mine to toast her back. It wasn't the comforting reassurance that I had expected, but it would do.

  We spent the rest of the night drinking and dancing. The evening was bitter sweet. I was going to miss my friend but even our relationship was different.

  Colleen moved across the street from me when she was 15. The summer before tenth grade. That’s a hard age to switch towns and schools and at first I thought she was a bitch. I thought I was a loner until I met her, but I at least talked and interacted with the other kids on my street. She talked to no one. She would just walk past you and not even say hi. Her mother had just divorced her father, and when my grandmother found that out she would make me take her a plate of dinner every night. One day, out of the blue, Colleen asked me if I could help her do her hair. We’ve been best friends ever since. I know people grow apart so I understood the decline in our phone calls and girls' nights. At first I thought it was because of my engagement, but she was just busy trying to grow her realty business. Maybe it wasn’t personal.

  We ended the night at Club Amnesia where we met up with some more friends. I was so drunk that Colleen had to ride home in the cab with me to make sure I made it inside. When we got to the front door we hugged one last time and she promised to visit me when she could.

  I fumbled with my keys as I sang the last song to get stuck in my head.

  Rock star lifestyle, might not make it....

  Finally succeeding in opening the door, I slowly crept into the house and stumbled through the darkness, still singing Wasted until I bumped into the couch.

  I'm so wasted! She's so wasted!

  Laughing at myself, I sat down not willing to brave it the rest of the way to the bedroom. After finally keeping the room from spinning Gucci Mane had been replaced by Trey Songz who was crooning about the other side of the bed, and I realized music was playing. I opened my eyes and slowly scanned the room and was startled to see Evan sitting in the love-seat across from me grinning. He had been watching me the whole time.

  “So, it looks like you had a good time. Smells like it to. I can smell the rum on your breath from over here. Where did you go?” He asked.

  “I
went out, that’s where. You shouldn’t spy on people, it’s not nice.” I slurred.

  “I’m not spying on you, I was already sitting here.” All the amusement had slipped from his face, but he replied in a calm voice.

  “Well, then why are you waiting for me? To see what time I came in, right? It’s a bad feeling when you have to wait up to see what time someone comes in because you don’t know where they are, isn’t it?” I was becoming angry in my drunken state. Evan just sat there calmly. He never argued with me.

  “What are you talking about Jade? I wasn’t waiting for you, and I wasn’t trying to spy on you. I’m just sitting here in my apartment trying to think. That’s all it is.”

  “Your apartment! Oh I guess you just can’t wait for my ass to leave! Then you can have as much time to ‘think’ as you need then.” I yelled at him, still slurring my words. Evan finally got up. He walked past me on the couch and headed towards the bedroom.

  “I don’t know what the fuck you’re yelling for but you need to shut up, with your drunken ass.” He ordered. Somehow I managed to stand up too, and tried to follow him down the hall.

  “That’s right. Go the fuck to bed. You don’t give a fuck about me anyway. You just want me gone!” I don’t even know why I was trying to pick a fight. I guess that was all my bottled up anger attempting to come out.

  Evan turned around and stormed towards me, his eyes dark with pain. He grabbed me by both arms and shook me.

  “I didn’t tell you to leave, did I? No. That was your choice. So fucking leave already and stop fucking with me. You’re the one who doesn’t give a fuck, Jade!” He yelled.

  He let me go just as fast as he grabbed me, and in my altered state I couldn’t keep my balance and fell up against the wall in the hallway. In rare dramatic form, I slumped down to the ground and began to cry. Evan had never put his hands on me much less raise his voice at me. I cried for that. I cried for the fact that I knew he was hurting. And I cried because I was so scared of what was going to happen once I left.

  He turned around and stared down at me for a while. Then he came and sat down next to me and put his arms around me. We sat there for a while without speaking. That’s how we were. I didn’t need an apology because I knew he didn’t mean it. He didn’t need one cause he knew that I didn’t mean it. Maybe that was our problem. Maybe we should have said all the things we thought were so unnecessary.

  “I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do.” I sobbed. He just held me tighter without a reply. After a while he helped me up off of the floor.

  “Come on. Let’s get you in the bed.” He said it like he was talking to a young child. I followed him down the hall to the bedroom. He went and sat on his side of the bed and put his head in his hands. I walked over to him and began to stroke his face. I envied and felt sorry for him at the same time. I envied the fact that he was able to always keep it together, but I felt sorry for him too. I knew that deep down he was probably more sensitive than I was. He just sat there while I touched him. Then he looked up at me with resignation. He began to undress me as I stood there in front of him. He yanked my jeans off with a few hard pulls and we both laughed.

  “A little tight, don’t ya think?” He joked.

  “You know me.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He said in a quiet voice.

  He rubbed his hands up and down the smooth skin of my inner and outer thighs. Then he moved to the soft flesh of my ass and pulled me close to him and buried his head into my stomach. I rubbed his head and the side of his face and I realized he was crying. Not like I was sobbing before, but just a few tears slid down his face. My heart swelled at his show of emotion.

  I sat down in his lap, wrapping my whole body around his. This was the kind of moment that I had dreamed of for the last three years. Unfortunately it was too late at this point. Call me selfish, but I needed him to show me the way he felt. Every day, not just when he thought it was needed.

  He just held me for a long time. Then he leaned back on the bed. I lay on top of him and kissed his face. I was all fired up from the liquor, and feeling a little freaky so I began to lick him all over. I licked his neck and then up the side of his face to his mouth. When he opened his mouth for a kiss I just stuck my tongue in his mouth and licked his tongue. Then I began to suck on his tongue and flick my tongue around his. I made a trail all over his chest and the lower I moved the harder he breathed. By the time I made my way to his dick he was already moaning. Tasted like he was drinking too, I thought to myself.

  I licked and sucked his hard throbbing penis until he was moaning my name. Then I sat up and slowly slid my extra slippery pussy down the length of his shaft. I made sure to move slowly so he could feel everything that I was doing to him. He tried to grab my hips so he could get better leverage to pump harder into me, but I pinned his arms to his side. He groaned out loud. I usually let him have his way with me, but not tonight. I wanted my way with him. I could feel him trembling underneath me trying to maintain the control he was already losing. Then I looked down at his face and to my surprise he was looking up at me. He usually kept his eyes closed when we were intimate. I no longer wanted to control him at that moment. I just wanted to enjoy our last night together. I leaned down to kiss him and he responded with a passion that I could never have dreamed of. He rolled me over onto my back and rolled on top of me. He made love to me the way that I had read in a romance novel once.

  Evan was slow and tender with me until the tears stopped and I was arching up towards him. He grabbed hold of my hips and slowly pumped into me. Every pump was met with a moan that came from deep inside of me. The harder he pumped the louder I moaned until he moved faster and faster. My body began to shake and tremble from the orgasm that was building up. I moved my hips in a circular motion and he moved to match me. I cried out his name at the same moment that he exploded inside of me. The wave of heat and tingling moved over my entire body and the last thing I remember is hearing him saying that I was the best.

  Compared to who?

  3 A Different Animal

  I was never a lover of airplanes. I slept thru my entire trip to avoid my anxiety, but woke up just in time to witness my plane land in what seemed like the middle of the ocean, also known as JFK airport. I couldn’t tell if my nerves were shot because of the flight or due to the new life that waited beyond the tarmac. Too many memories flooded my mind. Some that I wanted to forget. The memory of my last night in Miami didn’t help either. Today that was over a thousand miles behind me.

  I could already feel the hustle and bustle of the city as I made my way to baggage claim. My anxiety was slowly replaced with the excitement of the new adventures that where ahead of me. I made sure that I had plenty of time to explore the Big Apple before it was time to get down to serious business. I told my cousin Jackie to make sure she had my schedule filled with all New York had to offer, from sight-seeing to the night life. I hailed my first cab and gave the driver my address, and sat back to enjoy my first trip to the island of Manhattan.

  When I pulled up to my building I was a little leery. It looked like a warehouse with a doorman. He came out to greet me and grabbed my bags from the trunk of the taxi cab. I introduced myself and he told me his name was Donovan. Donovan was a friendly older gentleman with an accent that I could tell was from one of the islands. He filled me in about my new neighborhood and also informed me that I was one of the six tenants who resided in this building.

  Only six tenants for such a large building?

  When I stepped onto the large industrial elevator that had been recently remodeled and now resembled the lounge of a trendy new club. I noticed that there were only six floors.

  I have my own floor?

  I knew that my new digs were top of the line, but I had no idea what that meant in a city like this. When I stepped off the elevator I stepped into a small hallway with one large door. I unlocked the door to my apartment and was frozen with disbelief.

  The first thing I noticed was the spa
ce. Our condo in Miami was a closet to this place. The second thing I noticed was the luxurious decor. I wandered around my new home in amazement. My loft was 2 ½ levels. The half being an area in-between the first and second level where my hot tub was located in a glass enclosure with one hell of a view. The first floor was divided into 3 large sections. The foyer led into either the kitchen or living room. I made my way into the large state of the art kitchen and stared in awe at all of my new stainless steel appliances. I couldn’t wait to put my cooking skills to work.

  The living room wasn’t any less impressive. A large u-shaped cream colored leather sectional was the focal point. There was also the plum colored velvet chaise that was custom made. I also saw the two abstract paintings that I had chosen hanging on either wall framing the large glass cube window that had a not so distant view of the Henry Hudson River. This was surreal.

  I meandered towards the half spiral cherry wood staircase that matched my floors and took the wide steps up to my bedroom. There were two bedrooms upstairs, a master bedroom and a guest room that would also serve as a home office. I smiled at the full sized futon and the thought of Andrew or Colleen sleeping on it when they visited.

  I followed the plush runner rug down the hall passing the moderate guest bathroom towards my bedroom. It was amazing. My platform bed was in the center of the large 20x by 14x room. I’d never seen a room so large. The bed linens where lavender and sage colored that coordinated with my sage green accents. One entire wall was a large floor to ceiling window with the same view of the River as the one in my living room.

  I pulled out my smart phone to take pictures. If nothing motivated my bro to get on an airplane this would. After I sent my pics to Drew, Evan, and Colleen, I walked over to the walk-in closet that was the same size as the guest bedroom. Sweet! I was going to have to buy more clothes in order to make good use of my favorite part of my new place. There where racks on both sides for my clothes, a wall of shelves for my shoes and a dresser with various compartments for my accessories. I was in love. I continued into my bathroom that could be accessed by either the closet or the bedroom. Even more spectacularness! The shower doubled as a steam room and was separate from my large roman-style bath tub. Just like the kitchen everything was top-of-the line.